okay. well, I've kinda been putting this blog off for a while. I've been going through Post Mission-trip Syndrome. Anyway. This is a hard blog to write. I have to dig down deep, get past my emotions at the moment of feeling sad and wanting to be back so much. I actually feel homesick. Not from my home in Chapin, SC. but my home in Rio Naranjo, Costa Rica. Its a weird feeling. I met so many people while there. People who would point me straight to God, People who made me test my faith. I was challenged physically, emotionally, mentally and Spiritually. Its difficult. I'm not going to lie. But I know God did great things while I was there. He taught me what Divine appointments were. If it hadn't have rained, we probably wouldn't of had 6 people accept Christ one day. We weren't even suppose to go door to door that day. But because it rained. He set up those exact appointments. He showed me how he could use my imperfectness in a great and mighty way to further his kingdom. Its amazing! He showed me how even if we are from 2 different tribes and tongues, we can sing the same songs and God knows we are giving all the praise to him. He showed me that simple things such as bubbles made a difference and that it didn't matter whether you spoke English, Spanish, Chiniese, Blowing bubbles is a universal thing. He showed me that I don't need things like my phone, computer, and ipod. All I need is him and to be completely consumed by him. Let him be the center of my life. If he isn't. My whole world comes crashing down at my feet. He showed me how peaceful it is to not talk and to just listen for an hour. What its like to leave everything behind and just hike a mountain with my bible and lay my life before him. He showed me that I could develop a special type of love for someone in a short period of time. He showed me I needed to learn to trust. I needed to be able to trust our translators. I need to trust them with what I was holding back. Its weird how I have to go to another country to realize all these things.
One thing I did realize while here in the USA, is how much I'm loved. How much everyone cares for me. as we walked in the airport, just hearing all the screams, yells, tears of family greeting us, It was like God placing his hand on me saying, why didn't you see this before, why didn't you see that you were loved this much. While in Costa Rica, He placed his hand on me saying, Why don't you trust I have a plan, you don't believe me? My response was yes I do. He said, If you do, Lay yourself down, set everything aside and follow after me. Don't look back and see all the tragic event, see it as i'm calling my kids home. Don't see leaving as a good bye, but as a "I can't wait to see you in heaven!" See your glass as half full, not half empty. I took that advice, and am now looking at things in a new way. I see that God hasn't made the people of Costa Rica poor, but has just humbled them and made them grateful and caring. One thing I saw in Costa Rica that was a big difference was that in Costa, People are relationship and God centered, everything revolves around God and Relationships with other people, their family. as I came back to the US, I could see we are opposite. We are centered around Money, about the economy, about how much stuff costs, and buying. there, if they don't have it, they believe they don't need it. that's a 180 degree turn from us. It is really humbling to see that.
Now I know you thought you would be hearing stories...I can't share specific stories, without it loosing its meaning. As we talked about in Costa, sometimes, the meaning of what we were saying sometimes got Lost in Translation as our translator translated. Its the same now. The meaning, the excitement, just isn't the same to someone who didn't live it, and doesn't know what it's like. I can tell yall that we painted, hung out with kids, did 3 VBS's, Door to Door, Zip lined, shopped, and played Animal Crossing, but if you didn't experience it yourself, the emotion and its meaning gets lost, and when that happens, it gets really discouraging. feel free to ask about how stuff went. like specifics, but when you just ask, so how did your trip go, What did you do?....It just gets so overwhelming.
If you've reached this part, your a real trooper through my ramblings. Good for you! Thanks for reading. A couple of ways you could be praying for me now is:
- that i wouldn't forget what the Lord taught me everything he showed me about myself and about my life
- pray for my post-missions-syndrome as i adjust back to normal life even though it feels like it can't happen.
- that the Lord would put His word in my mouth
-that i might be broken for the sake of the Gospel
In Christ,
Callie Goodwin
Romans 12:1-2
Listening to: Our God is Greater by
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